The Pharcyde - "Ya Mama"

I think this song is freakin' hilarious. You can keep your Biz Markie or your Fresh Prince or your Coolioolio. I think The Pharcyde was one of the most fun groups of the decade, and their debut album Bizarre Ride II tha Pharcyde is one of my favorite albums of 1993.

This song exemplifies everything that was great about the Pharcyde. Funky, whimsical production and clever lyrics. "Ya Mama" is basically an entire song full of jokes about your moms. And unlike that crappy "Yo Momma" show on MTV, most of the jokes are actually funny. Although can someone tell me why Fatlip is listed as "Derrick" in the video? Why were so many rappers named Derrick and then changed it? (Yeah, I'm talking to you Sadat X!)

Seriously, how this song never became a hit is a mystery to me. It really should be one of those songs that when it comes on at a club the whole place goes crazy and raps along with all the words. But noooo .... people would rather hear Sean Paul. Wow I sound bitter. Just enjoy.

Ya mama look like she's been in the dryer with some rocks
With the big bust nose sucking dirt out of socks
Held up the ice cream truck with a slingshot
She grabbed a bag of Cheese Corn and a soda pop
Ya mama root'n'toot and stole my loot and my zoot suit
She may have the muscles, but no, she's not cute
She's not pretty, oh what a pity, got the glass titty
Filled up with Kool-aid, just for the kiddies
On a cliff butt naked, tootin' on a flute
Ridin on a horse drinkin whisky out a boot
She's got the teeth and the wings of an African bat
Her middle name is Mudbone and on top of all that

Ya mama got the wooden legs with real feet
(Ya mama got the wooden legs with real feet)
Ya mama got the wooden legs with real feet
Ya mama, ya mama, ya mama...

Zhigge - "Toss It Up"

Zhigge to me was the epitome of that brief moment in hip hop, around 1992, when songs could be both banging and fun. (See House of Pain's "Jump Around," YBT's "Tap the Bottle," Onyx's "Slam".) This song has got everything, a great, ebullient chorus, nice lyrics and a sweet horn riff.

It's one of those songs that just takes me right back to those days when I was like 16 years old, playing basketball after school with Mike C., staying up till 2AM when the local college hip hop radio show would end. Sleeping through sophomore year of high school. And much of junior year. You know...either way, it was a great party jam. And there are dancers in the video! Maybe the last video in history to have authentic hip hop dancing.

Tossin' it up, once again, it's the man
That gets more boots than Tim's got on Berland (hey!)
Through my course I've crossed some tough times
So I write rhymes that's designed to get mine
With a quickness, DJ the thickness
If you're sweet, we'll have you tossin' in your sleep.

Spice 1 - "In My Neighborhood"

Since YouTube removed this video, I had to go to their competitor, Daily Motion. Seems like they do a nice job, but this is the first time I've used them so forgive me if there is a glitch.

This song is a bit on the negative side, I suppose, but it's catchy, using a very funky sample and a nice flow. (The rest of this album sucked in my opinion, but that's neither here nor there.) In some ways it's a little positive, just "putting a mirror up to society" [yawn] and showing the "realities of the ghetto." [Zzzzzz]

But the song is very funky, and I even like the "INNN MYYYY NEIGGHHHHH-BOR-HOOOOOD" sung chorus. Spice-1 never really was one of my favorites, but this song was.

Welcome to the ghetto, although I call it my neighborhood
Some people get out, but some people stay for good
I see a dopefiend yellin he's a O.G.
He scratched his head and started starin like he knows me
I say, "What up, old man, I seen your face before"
It was my homie's pops, shirt dirty, pants tore
He had a 40 in his hand, left a little swallow
He said, "Young-ass ni***a," and then he threw the bottle
I ducked down, and I had to duck real fast
Stepped two feet back, and then I banked his 4ss
I started kickin and stompin my n***a's brains out
I heard a b***h yell "freeze!" and runnin out the house
It was his wife, and the b***h started bustin at me
I can't believe this s**t, this b***h is trigger-happy

Kool G Rap & DJ Polo - "Ill Street Blues"

Here is another one from the man I consider to be the greatest rapper that ever lived.

When I first heard this song in 1992 I almost crapped my pants. It was on a college radio station at about 2AM, and I had been waiting for this album to come out for two years. As soon as I heard that lispy "Aww yeah," I knew who it was even before they said it.

The video itself is kinda cool, even if low budget. (This was after the Live and Let Die album got dropped by Warner Brothers after the "Cop Killer" fallout and had to be released by the smaller -- but seminal -- Cold Chillin' label.)

Suckas I clobber, because my town is full of cops 'n' robbers
You're not promised tomorrow in this little shop of horrors
So I got to get with the business and hit quick
Money-grip's pockets lookin' thick, so I stick slick
Hold it right there, hands in the air, I know you got the loot
Or better yet, face down on the ground, empty your pockets, troop
Hit the deck I got the tech right on your neck
And I inspect the megabucks, the heck with a traveler's check.

A.D.O.R. - Let it All Hang Out

This video was M.I.A. on YouTube for several years, which is a damn shame, because it is one of the hottest unsung songs of the 1990s. (The rest of the album is nothing special, FYI, so if you are downloading, you can stick to this track.)

A.D.O.R. supposedly stood for "Another Definition of Rhythm," and I never really knew whether I was supposed to call him "Adore" or "Ay Dee Oh Arr." It would have been super awkward if I ever met him.

The video is standard, boilerplate early 1990s stuff. Lots of streets and alleyways. Slow motion, black and white shots of New York's urban denizens running from some unknown pursuer. A bunch of girls in bandanas and safety-orange bubblegoose jackets are like A.D.O.R.'s personal cheerleading squad.

And it wouldn't be a Pete Rock remix if it didn't have a) horns in the instrumental, and b) Pete Rock talking ("uh-huh, that's right") all the way through the song. [Note to P.Diddy, you didn't fucking invent that or the remix: Pete Rock did.]

Apparently A.D.O.R. only really had one hit in him, but damn if it wasn't a good one.

C'mon, feel the vibe from the rhythms to break the devil's ties
A feeling of good times, musical highs
Rhythm, harmony, soul skills and that
put together for the master plan is surely to attract
The people it take, the speakers to quake, the points to make
The A.D.O.R. posesses what it takes
To make it feel good, the way it should
Give me the mic and Pete Rock and you know I could
Straight up getcha all, UHH, all night long
It feels too right, too strong to be wrong
Let's turn it up, full blast, and make it last
Yo I'm thinkin bout the future, fuck the past
With the beat that's pumpin
To get the people jumpin but sayin somethin
Do you know what, I'm talkin about
When I tell you to express yourself
And let it all hang out

Bo$$ - "Recipe of a Hoe"

Bo$$ used to scare the shit outta me. Bo$$ was an unlikely name for a female rapper, but she had the goods. She had a hard voice, decent lyrics and really good beats. (This video has a little hiss, but you can get the idea of it. Also, I'm printing the dirty version of the lyrics, which are so much dirtier than the video version.)

Bo$$ knew how to get the funk out of the West Coast sound at the time, right before it all turned into phony g-funk garbage. The video is little more than Bo$$ running around in a Carhart jacket, skullcap and black Loc's in the ghetto with a sepia-toned spotlight on her. But the song is nice. I love the "ya, ya gotta, ya-ya ya gotta, ya gotta let a hoe be a hoe!" chorus and the smooth bassline. They don't make 'em like this anymore.

[Note: the embedding was removed on this video, but you can find it by clicking HERE.]

If yous a tramp 4ss n***a or no good n***a you get dissed quick!
But ain't no tellin ya know my personalities split
I could just gank you for
Your s**t without a warning
Or f**k it!
Shoot you now and get all this
S**t over with by the morning!
F**k yeah!
I'm feelin' on full too
S**t!
Another reason ya hoe cards pulled fool
I'm down with all this s**t you poppin'
Hell f**k Naw!
I don't wanna put a stoppin' to your hoe hoppin'
Cuz when ya' runnin the motha f**kin streets
In between the sheets every
Week screwin freak after freak
BO$$ is straight kickin' in the do' at ya crib
With enough time to kill a 40 O.Z. thats how I live!
Jackin' for cash and jewelry and all that s**t
Then off to the pawn shop to get another fat 4ss grip
And that's exactly how it is g!
On the real tip..tip...tip..
I know the f**kin' recipe!

Young Black Teenagers - "Tap the Bottle"

Oh boy. If these dudes didn't try so hard to act black, this song would have been easily as big a hit as "Jump Around."

Their name, after all, is Young Black Teenagers, and they are all very clearly caucasian. We all wanted to be black back then, babies. We just didn't call ourselves that. It is very uncomfortable to watch white guys with dreadlocks speak in urban dictions. However they do throw a black guy in for about two lines about 3.5 minutes in to show their cred.

This song could also be seen as a bit of a rip-off of "Jump Around" in several ways. Let's count them.

1) The intro where they are saying "Camron is in the house and uh..." etc is a direct rip off of the "The House of Pain is in effect ya'll..." intro of "Jump Around." Look it up.

2) It has lots of white people jumping around in a semi-rhythmic motion.

3) It has the same kind of screeching, squealing sound effect as House of Pain used with the Prince sample from "Gett Off." (Look THAT up too!)

Having said all that... it is a really kick-ass song, and really encapsulates the high-energy type of thing that was coming out in 1992. And it's not nearly as overplayed as "Jump Around" to be relegated to musical wallpaper when it comes on. I still get a genuine thrill out of hearing it.

Okay here I go Shorty tap the forty O smash
To a pass, if ya crash make a dash to the trash
Tap a cap, have alot and not alot not a little
Don't grade upon the label take a guzzle, don't dribble
I got the supercalafragileisticexpialadoucious
You're commin to close to this, I get ferocious
Coax this rhyme, smoke this rhyme hype
When we rock it up on the mic, we rock the mic right
Pass the funnel to the tunnel like it's busy till I'm dizzy
Never pass it to get fizzy cause the guard gets busy
Who is he?
Damn just pass the code decipher
When I hit the dress bottom buy a can of Red Stripe

Nasty Nas - "Halftime"

Some of you who were listening to rap music in 1994 remember when the Source gave a five mic review to Nas's Illmatic album. And this was back when "Five Mics" actually meant something at the Source. Unlike now...(Li'l Kim's "The Naked Truth"???? Are you kidding me???)

Anyway, Illmatic actually is a great album, even though it's only 10 tracks long and the first track is an intro. But one of the tracks on the album is from 1992, when Nasir Jones was known as "Nasty Nas." He had previously dropped a couple verses on posse cuts like Main Source's "Live at the BBQ" and MC Serch's "Back to the Grill." But this song is the one that got my attention.

It has a hot bassline, that awesome horn riff and that unusual wailing voice. The video isn't much, but the lyrics are great; tight but versatile. I love the flow on this song. The multi-syllabic rhyme scheme was still in its early stages and this song showcases it beautifully, damn-near making every word rhyme in multiple sentences. I was a little disappointed when I heard he was changing his name to just "Nas," especially since so many people out of the loop pronounced it "Nass." Of course those same people would have said "Nasty Nass" anyway so what do I care. This song was the first glimpse of what Nas would have to offer as a solo artist, and not just a mic-for-hire.

I got it going on, even flip 'em on this song
Every afternoon, I kick half the tune
And in the darkness, I'm heartless like when the narcs hit
Word to Marcus Garvey or heartless Sparkton
Cuz when I blast the herb, that's my word
I be slaying them fast, doing this, that and third
But chill, past the entree and let's lay
I bag bitches up at John Jay and hit a mantinee
Putting hits on 5-0
Cuz when it's my time to go, I wait for God wit the fo-fo
And biters can't come near
And yo, go to hell to the foul cop who shot Garcia
I won't plant seeds, don't need an extra mouth I can't feed
That's extra Phillie change, more cash for that weed
This goes out to Manhatten, the island of Staten
Brooklyn, Queens is living fat and
The Boogie Down, nuff props, enough clout
Ill Will, rest in peace, yo, I'm out

Chi Ali - "Age Ain't Nothin But a #"

This one's for you Toddy.

First of all, who the f**k does Chi Ali think he is making all sorts of demands on women, saying they have to be older and more mature. Chi Ali is like 12 years old, and not even handsome. Are girls really climbing all over themselves to get with him?

Not to mention the fact that he's telling these girls they have to grow up and be more mature, but he's still making songs about lemonade and videos with cartoon coyotes chasing after him.

Get a clue Chi Ali. Just because Dres from Black Sheep is your brother, don't think you have his "skillz."

BUT I'LL BET YOU DIDN'T KNOW THIS:
Chi-Ali is currently serving a 14-year prison sentence in Elmira Correctional facility over the murder of his ex-girlfriend's brother in 2000. The dispute was over $300 and some CDs!!!! And his real name is Chi-Ali Griffith! He was actually profiled on America's Most Wanted.

And to the cops of Fulton County (GA), he was known as a fugitive!

CHI-ALI - Age Ain't Nothing
by homhom

Walking down the street and I saw this honey
She was dipped, the opposite of bummy
I stepped to her, I said "Yo you look swell"
Give me your number, you have a man, I won't tell
It really don't matter cause to me it means nothing
Next time I'm feeling rough, I'll just snuff him
Anyway, how old are you G?
13, I'm Audi
The girl said, "Hold up, who you think you are?"
I said, "I'm Chi-Ali, a superstar"
She said, "I may be young but don't be mislead
With this dope body you'll choose me instead"
I said, "Don't get me wrong, your body may be ready
But come back in three years when your mind is more steady
I'm not trying to diss you, I'm just trying to blow up"
But do me a favor, hon, and grow up

Wu-Tang Clan - "M.E.T.H.O.D. Man"

By popular demand...

Say what you will about the Wu. In fact, I will say something: their first album is one of the top five hip hop albums ever created. After that they put out various product from excellent, like Liquid Swords and ...Cuban Linx..., all the way down to piss-poor, like Bobby Digital and Heavy Mental. I have always said Wu-Tang Forever would have been a classic album if they had gotten rid of the dead weight like the first track and "Black Shampoo" and only put the one album's worth of outstanding songs on there. In fact, I may just create my own Wu-Tang Forever single-album using the power of CD burning technology.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes. Say what you will about the Wu-Tang Clan, but they are essentially marketing geniuses. Or were at one time. They branded themselves with the awesome "W" logo that my boy Don C has proudly tattooed on his arm. (In fact, can we get a pic of that, Mikey?) The used to have the perfect knack for releasing their solo albums: just when you were getting sick of the last one, they would crank out the next one. They did it like that for about 3 years.

But this song is exactly why they are genius, for two reasons. One, they get the most marketable of their MCs (yes, that includes ODB) and have him put out a very catchy, but dirty rap song. Dirty meaning grimy. But the real genius is the prelude to the song. Since the Wu was trying to pimp out their brand, they had to have a hook, and their hook was that they had 8 MCs, all (well most) talented, and they had this mystique about them. But since this was the single, it would be the most played of their songs at first. So what do they do? They run down all 8 members of the Clan right off the bat, so you know exactly who you're dealing with.

Anyone who knows this song knows the timeless intro of "From the slums of Shaolin, Wu-Tang Clan strikes again, the RZA, the GZA, Old Dirty Bastard, Inspektah Deck, Raekwon the Chef, U-God, Ghostface Killah and the Method Man..." And usually when any of us recite the eight members of the Clan, we do it in that order. Genius. (And I don't mean GZA.)

Clip is loaded when I click bang dang
A Wu-Tang slug hits your brain
J-U-M-P jump and I thump
Make girls rumps like pump and Humpty Hump
Wow, the Shaolin style is all in me
Child, the whole damn isle is callin me
P-A-N-T-Y-R-A-I-D-E-R mad raw I don't cry
Meaning no one can burn or toss and turn me
Ooh I be the super sperm
Chim chimmeny chim chim cherie
Freak a flow and flow fancy free
Now how many licks does it take
For me to hit the Tootsie Roll center of a break
Peep and don't sleep the crews mad deep Wu-Tang
Fadin motherf**kers like bleach
So to each and every crew
You're clear like glass I can see right through
You're whole damn posse be catchin em all cause you vic'd
and ya didnt have friends to begin with

Das EFX - "They Want EFX"

I don't think it would be hyperbolic to say (and boys you can disagree with me if you like) that this song had a profound direct effect on hip-hop lyrical styles for about 2-3 years.

The lyrics themselves are essentially meaningless, a hodgepodge of various nursery rhymes, cartoon characters and children's games. But they are constructed in such a skillful way that it all makes a strange sort of logical sense. Hard to understand? Yes, but after repeated listenings I find myself still catching references I didn't catch the first time.

Also it has an awesome KRS-ONE vocal sample ("They want effects...") and the amazing "[Crack] Snap a neck for some live effects" sample from Erick Sermon.

But the way Das actually changed hip-hop was by popularizing the "diggidy-diggidy" style of rapping, where you could simply add a few syllables to a line by siggidy-saying whatever you wiggidy-want. Now, Das was very skillful, and this song was essentially the first of its kind, given that it was nonsense, but conceptual nonsense; there is a definite theme. And Das was smart by not overusing the "diggidy" style. Did they use it a lot? Well yes, but they rarely seemed too gratuitous. But after this song came out, everyone from Kris Kross to Ice Cube was adding a diggidy to their lyrics. It became annoying after a while, but for a brief period it was actually a lot of fun.

Das Efx - They Want EFX
by rockrot

Well Ill be darned, shiver me timbers, yo head for the hills
I picked a weeping willow, and a daffodil
So back up bucko or Ill pulverize McGruff
Cause this little piggy gets busy and stuff
Arrivederci, heavens to mercy, honky tonk I get swift
I caught a Snuffleufapus and smoked a boogaloo spliff
I got the nooks, the crannies, the nitty gritty fodey-doe
All aboard, cast away, hey wheres my boogaloo?
Ooooh Im steaming, a-go-ny
Why's everybody always picking on me?
They call me puddin tane, and raps my game
You ask me again and Ill t-tell you the same
cause Im the vulgar vegemintarian, so stick em up freeze
So no pork sausages, mom, please
A-blitz shoots the breeze, Twiddly-Dee shoots his lip
Crazy Drayzy shot the sheriff, yup and I shot the gift
And thats pret-ty sneak-y, sis oh yep
I got my socks off, my rocks off, my Nestle's cup of cocoa
Holly Hobby tried to slob me, tried to rob me silly stunt
Diggedy-dun dun dun dun dun, dun dun

Big L - "No Endz, No Skinz"

Okay, so this video is a little weak, especially considering what an awesome, catchy song it is. But I'm putting it out there for the God Toddy Scrills, since both he and I worship Big L in general, and this song in particular.

The song is peculiar in that Big L seems to lament the fact that you can't get a girl unless you have some cash, and it would be much less shallow to judge a guy based on his looks. Now, the late Mr. L was certainly no looker, but apparently he didn't have any cash either, and therefore had bad luck with women. This song comes from a different era, where it was okay to make fun of a woman for wanting to take all of a fella's money. You can't do that now, due to "political correctness" (thanks Hillary Clinton!), but curious that a girl can still oil herself up and shake her booty in any rap video today. Yikes.

Big L - No Endz No Skinz
by SeenMyBrain

I tell it how it is cause im a goldfigga
And I hate a money hungry girl a.k.a. golddigger
It ain't even funny
Some girls dont even know me askin me can they get some money
I'm lookin nuthin like ya poppa
I wouldnt give a chick 10 cent to put cheese on a Whopper
They wanna know why im so fly
A girl ask me for a ring and i put one around her whole eye
Chicks used to diss but now they wanna kiss
Yo Showbiz, I'ma break it down like this

Rough House Survivors - "Rough House"

Another one of those one-off, obscure groups that was totally indicative of their era (about 1992) but never did more than put out one album/hit song. This album was actually surprisingly strong. (No doubt most of you remember their other semi-hit, "Check Da Backpack".)

This song has a wicked organ riff, a very interesting reggae-infused chorus, and decent lyrics. And of course the video -- being about a bunch of Rough Guys -- takes place in the ghettos, with a lot of chain-link fences and run-down buildings. And it's in a strange sepia/black and white that uses a lot of zooming and strobing. Yeah, the video isn't that great, and the song doesn't really deviate from the main beat at all, but I liked it when it came out.

Diamond D - "!*!* What U Heard"

Not exactly sure what they were doing with this video. There are a couple odd elements. First of all, the video itself is pretty lame hip-hop video stuff. Dark crowds of people, lots of zooming and fast-panning camera motion. A combination of black-n-white and color. And the strangest thing, Sadat X in the video lip-sync'ing his own sampled voice in the chorus.

The video pretends the song is called "What U Heard," but the song is really called "F--- What U Heard." Actually, officially, the title is listed on the album as "!*!* What U Heard." The bassline is hot and it's one of the better songs on the album. Of course, he also went by the name "Diamond and the Psychotic Neurotics" on his albums, but called himself Diamond D. and never introduced the Psychotic Neurotics at any point in any of his albums.

And by the way, in my opinion this album, Stunts, Blunts and Hip Hop was the best hip-hop album of 1992, which was the best year of rap music. So what does that tell you? It would have been better if they had made a better video, but the song is good and Diamond's lyrics are surprisingly good here.

From the halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli
My sounds slam, but some still wanna get with me
I don't understand, kid, you just can't see me
When the LP drops all my friends'll want a freebie
Whether in a car or you ride the train
My style stands out like a varicose vein
So don't front, cuz you know I'm the champ
Better off tryin' to buy a pack of Newports with a food stamp
Cuz the odds are none, and like Jimmy Castor, I've just begun
Brothers can't believe how the skills have gotten
Spicy as a steak with potatoes au gratin
But I'm not suped, I just got a lotta nerve
Cuz motherf**kers wanna see me shoot to the curb
But I just won't slip, cuz a slip ain't hip
I stay on my toe, like Broadway Joe

Fu Schnickens - "La Schmoove"

Some like "Ring the Alarm," others prefer "True Fu-Schnick." But I always thought "La Schmoove" was the best single from the 1992 F.U.: Don't Take it Personal album. This one features Phife from A Tribe Called Quest.

Fu-Schnickens were an interesting group, though not very prolific. They had three MC's: Moc-Fu, Poc-Fu and Chip-Fu, none of which were Asian. Moc and Poc were solid rappers, neither that outstanding but decent. Chip was a freakshow, like Das EFX sped up. He never really said anything, but he had a backward technique he would use on some songs which was really quite remarkable. I mean, we all know that can't nobody rap faster than Daddy Freddy, but Chip-Fu came darn close.

But after this first album came out, they hired Shaquille O'Neal to co-star on their song "What's Up Doc? (Can We Rock?)" as Shaq-Fu. He later parlayed this limited set into a mediocre rap career of his own. Oh, and they released a greatest hits album after two albums, the second of which was a piece of crap. Still, this song is kinda cool.

'Leave it to Beaver'-arriva, derci, Heavens to mercy ba FU sayanora
adios muchachos dorme vous unbuckle my Fu-Schnick shoe
Mr., Chip Fu, about to wreck shop
With the Judo (CHOP!) a Judo (CHOP!) a Judo chop CHOP!
Yo, zilch kaput me nada none son, I don't think so, so take a look at
a Superfly big Jimmy the Honeynut Cheerio Bee
ba schnicker bah snchnucker
I ams what I ams that's all what I ams, My lyrics are never done
I'm the big John Elmer Glue the Elmer the Fudd, Al Bundy the Bud Light stud
Come like tongues lashes, with the quickness, Moc and Poc is, my witness
Ask the Kung about my tongue and the styles that I brung instead
I'm the Ali Babi cutty rankin shuba-dib-da-dabble
Jaw Boy Wonder Bread dread, BUM BA READ
These lyrics ah-come out of mi head, BUM BA READ
Mr. Chip Fu's gon stay' di-di, da-di-di, dra-dread
You said I couldn't rap, but I really wrecked shop
and I don't stop drop, I get props
I pick up the mic drop a style and pattern and fashion
and all MC's jaws drops down
My accent, you're mockin, my clothes, you're clockin
Rippin MC's to smithereens to their ribbidy-diddiby-Pippi Long-STOCKINGS
So don't step to Chip, I'm on the La Schmoove tip
You'll say "Drats I really failed again plus he sank my Babble-ship"
So oooh, s**t G, wa-wa or biscuit?
Rip it and be specific doin it terrific when I kicks it
Chitty-Chitty Bang-Bang, Pepe LePew, Pepe LePew
La Schmoove, yo I ain't got NUTTIN to prove!

MC Serch - "Back to the Grill"

The video is kinda lame, and the beat is kinda corny, but the song itself is a classic. With it's killer "Back to the grill again, the grill again" chorus, it is one of the definitive "posse cuts" of its era. It features MC Serch, Red Hot Lover Tone, Chubb Rock and some no-name called Nasty Nas (now simply known as "Nas," whatever he's doing now).

Lots of great things happen in this song. First of all, Red Hot Lover Tone gives the original George Bush "nuff props." Nas talks about waving automatic guns at nuns. And one of my favorite lines of all time is in it: "Jump jump with the man, with a plan, Chubb Rock." (If they could have only added the "A you know, a judo, a chop-chop-chop" part I would have a bulge in my pants.)

Finesser, keep a Tech-9 in my dresser
Lyrical professor, keep you under pressure
Mind like a computer, the inserter
Paragraphs of murder, the nightclub flirter
This is Nas, kid, you know how it runs
I'm waving automatic guns at nuns
Sticking up the preachers in the church, I'm a stone crook
Serial killer, who works by the phone book
For you I got a lot to shoot my songs in here
My rhymes are hotter than a prostitute with ghonnerea
On the mic I let vocabulary spill
(It's like that y'all) That y'all, kick em in the grill

House of Pain - "Jump Around" (Pete Rock Remix)

Since we have all heard the original "Jump Around" about a million times since 1992, it would be rather superfluous for me to show that one. Instead, I present to you the not necessarily superior, but far less-played, Pete Rock remix. The trademark horns are an interesting counterpoint to the video. The vocals are exactly the same, but the wailing Prince sample is gone and it's much more laid back. The video is identical.

I just have to say one thing about this song -- and Tony DiGiacomo, you can say what you want -- it was the greatest white rap song of its era, and maybe the best white person rap song until Company Flow came along.

When I first heard this song, it was 1992, and my sophomore year of high school was just winding up. I was watching "Hangin' with MTV" hosted by John Norris. He said they were going to be right back with a trio of Irish rappers called House of Pain. I had never heard of them before, and thought for sure it would be some jokey Digable Planets-rate lyrics and some corny Irish imagery. Instead, it was a dirty song with a hot beat, and the video took place with filthy Irishmen in a bar and at the St. Patrick's Day parade. As soon as I saw Everlast in this video, I shaved my head and started trying to grow facial hair. That's a true story.

(This video does not include the additional Pete Rock verse toward the end. And if you absolutely MUST see the original version, click here.)

I'll serve your ass like John McEnroe
If your steps up, I'm smacking the hoe
Word to your moms, I came to drop bombs
I got more rhymes than the bible's got Psalms
And just like the Prodigal Son I've returned
Anyone stepping to me you'll get burned
Cause I got lyrics but you ain't got none
So if you come to battle bring a shotgun
But if you do you're a fool, cause I duel to the death
Try and step to me, you'll take your last breath
I gots the skill, come get your fill
Cause when I shoot the gift I shoot to kill

A.D.O.R. - "Let It All Hang Out" (not the real one)

I am still trying to find the real video for this early '90s classic, so holler at me if you see it. But until then here's a snippet of the first verse of A.D.O.R.'s only real hit. The video is obviously by some guy in his A/V class, but it's clever enough and makes me want to hear the rest of the song.

Double XX Posse - "Not Gonna Be Able to Do It"

This was a pretty good album, but I never knew whether these guys wanted to be called "Double Ex Posse" or "Double Ex-Ex Posse." Also, though the name of the song is called "Not Gonna Be Able to Do It," I defy you to find the word "it" at the end of any line in the chorus. I defy you!

Now I'm makin money, and it's good to be single
To mingle with the ladies while their earrings jingle
And that's the way it is, cause that's the way that I want it
When I see a pretty mommy lookin good, I'm on it
Checkin out her profile to see if she got style
Cause if she ain't a 10, she ain't worth my while
I'm all about stickin and movin with the quickness
Forget the foreplay, and let's get down to business

Compton's Most Wanted - "Def Wish II"

The video quality on this one isn't so great, but the song still is. MC Eiht decides to make a song ripping DJ Quik (thinking Quik had insulted him in an earlier song), with that menacing Quincy Jones bassline and the hot drumbeat kicking in on the second verse. I used to love Eiht because he always said "yeah" like "jeeah."

This one does have the original, explicit lyrics, but the sound is good. I also love the Ray Liotta samples from GoodFellas ("You got out of line, you got whacked, everybody knew the rules"), which make the danger even that more imminent. It's a great West Coast record.

Peep - I'm puttin suckers to sleep
Ready to make a motherf**kin hit, jeah we rollin' too deep
You shouldn't've made that tape, but you pushed me
Eiht hates punk-ass perm wearin p***ies
Mmmm... you ready for round one? Here it come, fool
I got my d*ck in my hand, come and get some
Damn, i'm tired of fake motherf**kers gettin' pesos
Sorry-ass amigos screamin like b*tch hoes
If it wasn't for your happy-ass sound, prancin around
Nothin but a sorry-ass clown, stay the f*ck down
Punk you can't f*ck with this
Jeah, first step is your def wish