In Loving Memory

The Best Rapper Alive?

The steaming pile of crap known as Vibe Magazine has created a "bracket" for Best Rapper Alive. You can download the printable bracket here.

Let's take a look at the list of some of the MCs on the list:

First of all, the four #1 seeds are Jay-Z, Eminem, Andre 3000 and Li'l Wayne. Um, okay. They have the regular list of characters that go into these discussions, such as Nas, Method Man, Common, Ice Cube, Black Thought, Redman, Mos Def, Talib Kweli, et al.

There are some interesting choices of people that I like but wouldn't consider in the Greatest Rapper Ever category, such as Q-Tip, Raekwon, Scarface, etc.

And then they have some MCs on the list that defy all logic. First of all, the "play-in" matchup is Jim Jones and Diddy. DIDDY? F**king DIDDY???!?!?! You are telling me that Diddy is one of the 65 best MCs alive?

Let's look at some of the other MCs on the list: Soulja Boy Tell'em, Nelly, Twista, Snoop Dogg, Jadakiss, Joe Budden, Li'l Kim, Flo Rida? Let's remember this is the BEST RAPPER ALIVE. Whether the songs that these MCs make are good is a matter of taste; I don't think that there is a person alive that would contend that these people are even very good rappers, let alone the best alive.

Most infuriating, however, is the list of MCs that are omitted. Just take a quick peek at this and try to keep yourself from vomiting.

• KRS-ONE
  
• Rakim
  
• Kool G Rap
  
• Lord Finesse
  
• MF Doom
  
• Aesop Rock
  
• El-P
  
• PMD
  
• Big Daddy Kane???
  
• Pharaohe Monch

I'm sure you can come up with a lot more. Feel free to contact Vibe and tell them how you feel.

Kwest the Madd Ladd - 101 Things to Do While I'm With Your Girl

Kwest the Madd Ladd was a very unique and skilled MC of the early 1990s who had a bit of a speech impedement and lots of filthy things on his mind. He had a song called "Skin Care" that began with someone singing "I love p***yyyyyyyy" and then going into a torrent of filthy sexcapades. What made this song fascinating was that Kwest actually censored himself with a Family Feud-style "Buzz" whenever a dirty word would come up.

Forget for a moment that Kwest's voice was identical to fellow obscure early '90s rapper Diamond Shell, and deal with the fact that this guy had some serious lyrics, but he was just a little too out there, and I don't know that this video helped.

There are some interesting elements to the video that make it as timeless as it is moralistic. The pink backgrounds were included in the video, we can assume, because they are pleasing to the female eye, and therefore even more seductive than Kwest's gold fronts. The nose ring adds to his already rugged handsomeness.

Kwest also is interested in helping the children read, which is why he adds so many Batman-like graphics to key lines of the song. But instead of "POW!" or "BIFF" you get "I'll Bag Your Lady." Additionally, the cutaway shots looking up at Kwest as he is standing on glass brings to mind the glass ceiling that so many people in urban areas have encountered. It's a political statement!

I think the one thing we learn from this video is that Kwest tha Madd Ladd is not the kind of person to bring your girlfriend, fiancee or wife around. He will not only try to have sex with her, but he will then tell you, "don't take it personal."

Of course not, Kwest, how could I?

Now money grip peep it you think you so fly
But on the real I'd like to deck you in the motherf**kin' eye
You think that you so flavor, but if I roll on you kid, huh
Nothing can save you, cause you know I never did like you
Everytime you came around I didn't wanted to fight you
Talkin' bout you get p***y, huh, that's dead
The last time you were in some ass the doctor screamed "I see the head!"
You too busy planning scams with your piece
To realize the wife you have is mad sweet, freaky, tight and naaaasty
So now I guess you gots to know, this here bone is sticking your hoe
On the down low, I did it kind of to get you back
To prove that no one can master the hottie snatcher, punany catcher
And that shit is good like a motherf**ker
Now who's the sucker, ran your girl, go get another
Bet she made you choose a bag evertime you did her
Guess what? I raw dog the first time I did her
While you on the block slangin' rocks, bustin' shots with your glock
Your wifey is playin' with my c**k
So I suggest you go get another b***h, cause this one is made to switch
Cause like the Pepsi challenge she chose me
And last night, guess what? Your girl rode me
UP and down, down and down, south and north, north and south
I even got to put this dick in her mouth
So if you wanna try to play me
Come on kid don't even try to be a baby

Masta Ace Inc - Jeep Ass Nigguh

Tell you what, this video is awful hard to find on YouTube. (Eventually I will begin making a list of videos I can't find anywhere and offer cold hard handshakes for anyone who can find them for me.)

Masta Ace Inc's 1993 opus Slaughtahouse is one of the most underrated and underappreciated albums of the '90s. It was really the first hip hop album that I can think of that dared to actually criticize the state of rap music -- particularly West Coast and "gangsta rap" -- at that time. The songs do a great job of taking artists to task.

So naturally, the best song on the album is the one about how awesome his car stereo is.

But it's a hell of a song, and it's one of the songs that gets me pumped up whenever I hear it. If there is a cooler three-word line in hip hop than Ace saying "Hey Mutha-f**kaaaas!" I don't know what it is. (Is "mutha-f**kas" one word or two?)

There are three basic movements to the song: First Ace speaks eloquently about how much bass his jeep has. Secondly, he gets into a cross-cultural confrontation with a man of Latino origin; the racial tension is simmering, with Ace calling him a "Puerto Rican Latin Chico Rico Suave." [Note: in the video, the man looks nothing like Gerardo. If he did, Ace should have just shot him.] The third verse is a reference to how white people -- police in general -- hate his music, and would probably be just fine with it were Elvis Presley. He does have a point: I always get annoyed when I am walking downtown and hear loud Dem Franchise Boyz songs, I get upset, but when someone is pumping "Hound Dog" out of their Escalade, I start dancing in spasmodic glee.

Also, his follow-up, Born to Roll, is a steaming pile of bass music that is all about his love of cars. Whither Masta Ace, Inc.

Drivin down the block like what else should a brother do
It's Saturday, it's Saturday, the heat might smother you
Rollin down my windows yeah I have a air-conditioner
But I got the sound I want the whole world to listen ta
Waitin at a red light, Kentucky Fried Chicken in
Low End Theory tape in, bass crazy kickin in
See this Puerto Rican Latin Chico Rico Suave
In a red Corolla eh yo does he wanna play
Pullin up beside me, lookin like he want it
Show me what ya got then watch me get up on it
Holdin up traffic but we can't hear they horns
Cause he music a grande yeah he got it goin on
Bit I think I better school him cause he don't know the time
So I'm turnin up the boom cause he cannot f**k with mine
Brothers hear me hittin from like 50 blocks away I
Wanna turn they heads so you know I gotta play
High decibels passin through a residential district
See a few cuties and I turn it up like this quick
Mira, mira man don't sleep, I got tha, I got tha, I got tha woofers in my Jeep

Yo! MTV Raps 20th Anniversary

Looks like someone at MTV got an interesting idea to show old rap videos. Am I the inspiration? Who am I to say? But yes....

They are showing a bunch of videos from 1992, which I think it can be safely declared was the single greatest year of hip hop music. Give it a look. (Although the vids on this site, though seldom is it updated, are far superior.

It's been a while since I dropped a new post, so what better way to get back on the horse than post this video of 20 Hip Hop songs you "need to hear." By and large it's a very solid list, highlighting album tracks and more obscure songs rather than the trite-and-true knee-jerk playbook that most mainstream rap fans will throw out there.

Here is Part 1


And here is Part 2


What do you think?

Company Flow - "End to End Burners"

Company Flow were the Beatles of indie hip hop. not only were they the most influential, but they were the best.

El-P has become more of an industrial artist than the "dirty dusty" rapper and producer he once was; he is actually somehwat mainstream. Ironically, Big Juss is one of the most abstract, avant garde rappers out there.

This track was kind of their swan song, they're last great record before they broke up. I love this song a lot, not only because it was the first video I ever saw from these guys after wearing out their Funcrusher Plus LP, but it's just a blistering track. The pulsating beat dives right into the lyrics with no four-bar intro needed. The lyrics are fast and furious (and sometimes unintelligible, click here for approximate lyrics, a new window will pop up), and contain all the pre-Y2K tension that was being felt at the time. It's one of the songs that gets me pumped up like no other.

And Jesus H. Christ, just check out these lyrics.

[El-P] Yo, I cut most meticulous with a similar interest
King of pain and sing to a metronome without an influence
Shot burner off-kilter bust sh*t at random
Like civil war muskets or A.D.D. kids throwin tantrums
Out out the damn spot with phantom power rebel bunch
Using the populace like Phen-Fen the meat to public school lunches
Sad to say im the matrix with the code for smallpox rapist
Out of all shots mine are worn from hit 'n' runs, caught 'em
mixtapeless
Straight from limbo where the most favourite dish is faces
Marching like Dimes or Orangemen through Belfast
Manimal hybrids recombination, then beatbox
til the tastebuds on our tongues are smooth and shapeless
Dodging thought police this patient zero the folk hero
Klepto steal the spotlight before b-boys turn complacent
Specialize in neuter services and theft of game systems
The crew detaches expands and credits them towards purchases
Wisdom with a bad touch, and I'll provide incision pain plus
that botched the operation and denied insurance claim form
Overfiendish, twenty cock to shoot out f*ck your mind
before that morning cup of ovaltine sh*t
El Producto, C.F. born to break shit down and replace it with
fortified vitamins that you can lick right off the vinyl
Little Leaguer, my phonics is on some clearly ironic shit
like hittin pick six on the day of the apocalypse

Grand Puba - "I Like It"

I was never a huge fan of Grand Puba. I always thought he was a nice counterpoint rapper with the rest of Brand Nubian, but he tended to get somewhat annoying when he did his own thing. He tended to get a little lazy on the mic, especially with his offbeat flow.

Having said, that I always thought this was one of the coolest, smoothest songs of 1995. It's got a great, mellow beat, with that awesome vibraphone sound. His lyrics, while not amazing, fit the song fine. It is a little ridiculous of course that an ugly, overweight, cross-eyed man such as Grand Puba would talk about getting ass, but it was pretty much his m.o. from the start. And of course he has to mention Stud Doogie, like he does in every other goddamn song he ever made. But he doesn't mention DJ Alamo. Hmmmm....

The video is kind of dumb: he straight up rips off the video for A Tribe Called Quest's "Scenario" (3 years later no less!) with the computer graphics theme. I can't help but think that this video would have been about 10x cooler if he had just driven around New York City at night and shot that for the whole video instead of wasting time in Puba's boring apartment.

Oh, but Kid from Kid 'N' Play is in the video, and that is just strange. And why the hell are Lord Jamar and Sadat X in there? Didn't Brand Nubian break up so they didn't have to see each other anymore?

I hit a flow all dipped in lotion
Sit back and sip moe as Im countin my doe
Grand puba macks well, doogie, comin with the new york
We keep it real like jail when we might talk
Honies know cause when Im in the set
Grand puba is the one who makes they stink box wet
So let me tell ya somethin lady
When ya flow this flow then its all cream and baby
I made this one for the brothers in the party
To find a hottie
And dance body to body
Step one: first you grab honey by the waist
Step two: then you move at a ghetto pace
Step three: then ya look her dead in the face
Step four: now its time to leave this place
Hold up, be careful of the cheesas
The teasas, the one who wants the money and the visas
Ima tell honies straight off the bat
But please dont even go there with that, dig it
This ones designed to make your spine in your back wind
Grand puba lights it up for you every time

KRS-ONE vs Kool G Rap

A great debate here trying to decide who is the greatest MC in the history of hip-hop. You really can't go wrong with either of these rappers. As uneven as many of their albums have been, you can't really deny that they are both in the elite echelon.



What strikes me is the complete dissimilarity of styles. KRS is more about politics and prosyletizing, with the occasional punchline-heavy freestyle. G Rap was all punchlines and storytelling. KRS had the deep voice and conviction; G Rap had the rapid-fire delivery and incredibly inventive wordplay.

If you put a gun to my head and asked me to pick, I go Kool G Rap. He is one of the five greatest MCs that ever lived (and the #1 underrated). He was years ahead of all his contemporaries in the early 1990s -- yes, including Kane and Rakim -- and paved the way for such lyrical technicians as Pharaoh Monche, Black Thought, Nas, Aesop Rock and El-Producto. Jay-Z owes a huge debt to Kool G Rap. M.O.P. basically took their entire style from his third album.

KRS-ONE has more cache and is considered more of a legend, but G Rap is the craftsman's rapper. And also doesn't consider himself the "embodiment of hip-hop."

Hell, I'm just glad it isn't the same tired-ass Tupac/Biggie debate. KRS or G Rap would destroy either one of those fellas.

Top Ten MCs?

Here is one person's list of the top 10 MCs. I would have to agree with about 7 of them. Can you guess which ones?



Who are yours?

RJD2 - "Ghostwriter"

Okay I have to admit I have something of a hard-on for this song, and I can't pinpoint exactly why. I think it's the way it builds up from a kind of smooth, laid-back guitar vibe, then breaks out into a dramatic, triumphant horn solo.

The song came out around 2002 and I still have a rather unusual obsession with it. It's my ringtone so call me anytime.

This is a very cool live version that RJD2 did somewhere with some turntablism and some live instrumentation. It's only about 3 minutes long, but it gives you everything you need to know about how awesome this instrumental is. The sound is a little spotty, so you may have to turn it up.


This appears to be some kind of student film that someone made with "Ghostwriter" as the soundtrack. The video appears to be kind of pointless to me, and more a reason to show some cool camera angles. Real film student shit. But I could listen to this song with a video of a kitten taking a nap, and it's the album version, so I don't care. (Actually, I just finished watching the video and it ends up being kinda cool.)


It's such a great song, because at about the 5 minute mark, you think it's just about over and then it kicks into overdrive just one more time. Magnificent.

Lords of the Underground - "Chief Rocka"

I always had a strange soft spot in my heart for Lords of the Underground. I'm not quite sure why. A lot of their songs were kind of corny. Their names were Mr. Funky, Doitall (like "do it all") and Lord Jaz. And they had a somewhat publicized battle with one of my all time favorite MCs, Lord Finesse.

But this song is one of their greats. First of all, the song itself is beyond hot. The beat itself is vintage east coast funk. It's got an actual DJ doing actual scratching. The lyrics are actually kind of cool, not corny like they got once in a while.

The video itself is very much of its era, with a lot of rapping going on in very dark rooms. But the video is set apart by the slow motion breakdancing. For some reason that is just the perfect, graceful counterpoint to the chaotic and frenetic music. I can't hear the song without thinking of this video.

Also, Redman shows up at 3:38!!! Of course it's so dark you can barely see him.

Keep in mind, there are several versions of this song, all slightly different. The first version contains the chorus is simply Lord Jaz cutting up "The Lord Chief Rocka, Numba One Chief Rocka" on vinyl. The radio edit -- and in my opinion superior, but much harder-to-find version -- is the "Boomshakalaka yo here comes the Chief Rocka" chorus.

"Lord Chief Rocka version"


"Boomshakalaka version"

I'm the, Chief Rocka, so I guess I am in charge
I freak it with a twist so you'll boom it in your cars
I'm the, one with the flow and the grip like G.I. Joe
I snatch, I grab, and then I grab the dough, see if
I was an Indian I'd still be the Chief
Hittin' gangsters like Apache with the funk from beneath
To the hip, the hop, to the hibby to the hibbidy
hip-hop, oh no, I don't wanna go pop!
I got, too much soul, rhythm and blues
R&B ya see, all that's cool, but
hip-hop and rap yeah that's where my heart's at
Even back when I used to break on a box

Heavy D - "Don't Curse"

I'm back babies!

Before I begin, just a quick few words. The world has changed a lot since my last post in October. YouTube is not as valuable or reliable as it once was. I'm finding many of the previous videos I've posted are not working or have been removed. Why do record companies have their heads shoved so far up their own asses that they can't realize that YouTube (and similar sites) are the best advertisting they can get. Morons!

Okay let's get started

I was never a big fan of Heavy D, however this album -- Blue Funk -- had a bunch of genuine surprises. "A Buncha Niggaz" was one of them, this was another.

If you flash back to 1992, you may not have been able to assemble a better array of hip hop stars of that time period. Count 'em down: Heavy D, Kool G Rap, Grand Puba, CL Smooth, Big Daddy Kane (wearing a Big Daddy Cast on his arm), Pete Rock and Q-Tip. That is a formidable lineup, and you could say that except for maybe CL Smooth, it's a Hip Hop Hall of Fame lineup.

I actually really really like the concept of this video where each rapper gets his own "room" which fits his rapping style. So Kool G. Rap gets a high-stakes roulette wheel, Kane gets a fancy room with a lot of girls, CL Smooth gets a room with a 6'6" basketball hoop? Okay. The problem, as was the problem with most rap videos of the era, was that it jumps around way too much. They could have made this so much cooler and more conceptual, but instead the camera has do bob and weave around like Katherine Hepburn holding a camera while running on a treadmill.

I really like that in the song, they pretend that they were just about to swear, but somehow covered it up. How hard do you think it was to get Kool G Rap to actually NOT swear?

You can't really hear it in this version of the video, but at the end, the chorus chants "Free Slick Rick." That's part of the problem with the hip hop community. If Slick Rick had attempted to murder you, would you want him let out?

You're telling me don't curse on a verse, they did it worse
First I put a curse on every verse
I kind of got outrageous
Check it, even made a record on how I'm doing on the B-I-T-C-Hes
Drop some verses for the bust
Every word that you heard is cause I didn't give a f-, aw shucks
Hey yo, I almost forgot
The curse is a plot but it's getting kinda hot
So I'ma let profanity retire, hey
But if worse comes to worse, I'll cut you out like Richard Pryor
So Grand Puba, kick a verse
But do your man a favor and don't curse

My Sister Site ... Or Should I Say "Sista" Site?

For all my readers (both of you) please check out my companion site, created by my longtime companion and dear dear friend Mike "Don" Jerome Cialini. He calls the site Number One Chief Rocka, and it is an excellent hip hop lyrics blog.

Mike tackles A Tribe Called Quest (one good verse, one bad), The GZA, Tim Dog, Gang Starr, Big L, Nas and more. Check it out and drop a comment.

Bo$$ - "Recipe of a Hoe"

Bo$$ used to scare the shit outta me. Bo$$ was an unlikely name for a female rapper, but she had the goods. She had a hard voice, decent lyrics and really good beats. (This video has a little hiss, but you can get the idea of it. Also, I'm printing the dirty version of the lyrics, which are so much dirtier than the video version.)

Bo$$ knew how to get the funk out of the West Coast sound at the time, right before it all turned into phony g-funk garbage. The video is little more than Bo$$ running around in a Carhart jacket, skullcap and black Loc's in the ghetto with a sepia-toned spotlight on her. But the song is nice. I love the "ya, ya gotta, ya-ya ya gotta, ya gotta let a hoe be a hoe!" chorus and the smooth bassline. They don't make 'em like this anymore.

[Note: the embedding was removed on this video, but you can find it by clicking HERE.]

If yous a tramp 4ss n***a or no good n***a you get dissed quick!
But ain't no tellin ya know my personalities split
I could just gank you for
Your s**t without a warning
Or f**k it!
Shoot you now and get all this
S**t over with by the morning!
F**k yeah!
I'm feelin' on full too
S**t!
Another reason ya hoe cards pulled fool
I'm down with all this s**t you poppin'
Hell f**k Naw!
I don't wanna put a stoppin' to your hoe hoppin'
Cuz when ya' runnin the motha f**kin streets
In between the sheets every
Week screwin freak after freak
BO$$ is straight kickin' in the do' at ya crib
With enough time to kill a 40 O.Z. thats how I live!
Jackin' for cash and jewelry and all that s**t
Then off to the pawn shop to get another fat 4ss grip
And that's exactly how it is g!
On the real tip..tip...tip..
I know the f**kin' recipe!

Young Black Teenagers - "Tap the Bottle"

Oh boy. If these dudes didn't try so hard to act black, this song would have been easily as big a hit as "Jump Around."

Their name, after all, is Young Black Teenagers, and they are all very clearly caucasian. We all wanted to be black back then, babies. We just didn't call ourselves that. It is very uncomfortable to watch white guys with dreadlocks speak in urban dictions. However they do throw a black guy in for about two lines about 3.5 minutes in to show their cred.

This song could also be seen as a bit of a rip-off of "Jump Around" in several ways. Let's count them.

1) The intro where they are saying "Camron is in the house and uh..." etc is a direct rip off of the "The House of Pain is in effect ya'll..." intro of "Jump Around." Look it up.

2) It has lots of white people jumping around in a semi-rhythmic motion.

3) It has the same kind of screeching, squealing sound effect as House of Pain used with the Prince sample from "Gett Off." (Look THAT up too!)

Having said all that... it is a really kick-ass song, and really encapsulates the high-energy type of thing that was coming out in 1992. And it's not nearly as overplayed as "Jump Around" to be relegated to musical wallpaper when it comes on. I still get a genuine thrill out of hearing it.

Okay here I go Shorty tap the forty O smash
To a pass, if ya crash make a dash to the trash
Tap a cap, have alot and not alot not a little
Don't grade upon the label take a guzzle, don't dribble
I got the supercalafragileisticexpialadoucious
You're commin to close to this, I get ferocious
Coax this rhyme, smoke this rhyme hype
When we rock it up on the mic, we rock the mic right
Pass the funnel to the tunnel like it's busy till I'm dizzy
Never pass it to get fizzy cause the guard gets busy
Who is he?
Damn just pass the code decipher
When I hit the dress bottom buy a can of Red Stripe

D-Nice - "Call Me D-Nice"

Many years before Stuart Scott began calling every athlete who's name began with the letter "D" D-Nice, there was this guy, the real D-Nice. He was also known as the Human TR-808, which I can't figure out, because I don't remember him doing a beatbox even once. Of course, KRS-ONE continued calling himself "DJ KRS" for the longest time and I don't think I ever heard him cut up one record.

Anyway, D-Nice was one of the earlier members of Boogie Down Productions, and by most accounts, he got DJ Scott La Rock killed (despite what others may think). D-Nice was a relatively good lyricist, though he fell into that kind of tried-and-true BDP mold: always trying to be conscious, always having KRS-ONE's back, etc.

One of my favorite memories of this album goes like this: I'm listening to this album with my boy Mike Cialini, and there is a song called "The TR-808 is Coming" and as was KRS's custom, he would always tell you what year that song in question was fresh for. The album came out in 1990, so KRS says the song is "fresh for 1990, and also fresh for nineteen ninety one and two." Flash forward a couple years to 1993; Cialini and I are inexplicably listening to this album and that song comes on. He says "fresh for nineteen ninety one and two" and I say to Mike, "Man, he's right this song sucks now. I remember thinking it was good last year."

I guess you had to be there.

I start to think, a very big conscious all around me
Who will be the sucker MC to try to doubt me
Is it you, or you, or you, or you, or him
But I'm like a tree and every lyric is a limb
You throw it on the turntable, very unstable
But you gamble because you need that example
There's a 1000 MC's on the planet earth now
What is the word you say to get hers
Some like to explain, some talk educated
Some like McBoo, he's X-rated
I like to think of myself as a pure rebel
A radical thinker on a musical level
'Cause suckers wanna stop me and girls wanna kiss
Wherever I go, yo, it seems I can't be dis
'Cause my name is D-Nice but all the girls call me Derek
It ran through my crew so I guess I've inherit
The job of explaining and also retaining
The fact D-Nice is remaining
Not a king nor a prince but as a teacher
Wit dopies like this, I know I'm gonna reach ya
So now I don't think you should all despise
This fact D-Nice is on a rise
Straight to the top like a bubble of water
It's a slaughter so I think you oughta
Think realistically, not egotistically
It's suicide if you even think of dissing me
'Cause if you try, I'm a make you wait
To learn the reason I'm the 808, but just call me D-Nice

Wu-Tang Forever: Director's Cut

Okay, so I am attaching this video for "Triumph" by the Wu-Tang Clan here as an excuse for the rest of this blog. It's strictly an excuse. I will make no comment of the overblown dramatics of the silly "Killer Beez" story line or the cheapo Brett Ratner direction and graphics. That's not why I'm here.



First, a little background.

Many of us remember the summer of 1997. I think it was July. Third Eye Blind was teaching us all how to smile again. Men in Black was taking the nation by storm. I was between my junior and senior years in college, painting dorms and just kicking ass in general.

The most anticipated albums of that summer in William H. Shannon's world were Wu-Tang Forever by the Wu-Tang Clan and For the People by the Boot Camp Clik. I would have to say that both were disappointments. I only listened to For the People once straight through because I thought it was that much of a piece of crap. The Wu album was also not very good, but with an asterisk.

*The album would have been good if they could have cut it in half.

I know I sound like a bit of a hypocrite here, because I was just bitching about how Nas's first album was too short, and now here I am blaming the Wu for packing two full discs worth of music. But let's face it, the album is mediocre because it has too much music on it. The album is so jam-packed with dead weight that I could barely listen to it without wearing out the "next track" button on my CD player.

So I did something that may have never been done in the history of modern home recording: I made my own version of Wu-Tang Forever. I did this by burning my own single-disc copy of the album, and eliminating all the bad songs on it.

For example, you will find no record of the very first track, "Wu-Revolution," on the director's cut of Wu-Tang Forever. Nor will you find awful songs like "Black Shampoo" or "For Heaven's Sake."

In fact, here is the track list:

1. Reunited
   
2. Cash Still Rules/Scary Hours (Still Don't Nothin Move But the Money)
   
3. Visionz
   
4. As High As Wu-Tang Get
   
5. Severe Punishment
   
6. Older Gods
   
7. Maria
   
8. A Better Tomorrow
   
9. It's Yourz
   
10. The City
    
11. The Projects
    
12. Bells of War
    
13. Duck Seazon
    
14. Triumph
    
15. Deadly Melody
    
16. Hellz Wind Staff
    
17. Heaterz
    

Notice, from the first disc, I have removed "Wu-Revolution" and "For Heaven's Sake," only two tracks, finally confirming for the world that the first disc of this album was far superior. From the second disc, the cutting was much more ruthless. I removed "Intro," "Impossible," "Little Ghetto Boys," "The MGM," "Dog Sh*t," "Black Shampoo," "Second Coming" and "The Closing." What a crappy second disc.

I still claim that if the Wu had simply gone with this track listing on a single disc rather than the one they came up with, Wu-Tang Forever would be considered an outstanding album. Certainly not as good as their first, but close. It's a solid album all around, just with too much filler. The album never gathers any momentum because of some seriously mediocre songs.

If the Wu or any other rap group would like a little A&R help, go ahead and give me a holler. I mean after all, Wu-Tang, who's your A&R? A mountain climber who plays an electric guitar? But he don't know the meaning of "dope" when he's looking for a suit-and-tie rap that's cleaner than a bar of soap.

[By the way, fellas. I am really enjoying the comments on this blog lately. Keep them coming. It will definitely inspire me to post more often.]

Luke - "Cowards in Compton" (feat. Clayvosie and JT Money)

You asked for it, you got it.

Okay, so it's not that great a song, and Luke doesn't perform anything that could be considered a "rap" on it. (He's more like the narrator.) But for sheer chutzpah, this song had it back in the day. Back when few people were ready to mess with Death Row Records. But when the feud between Dr. Dre and Luke (aka Luther Campbell, formerly Luke Skywalker of 2 Live Crew) came out on Dre's 1992 album The Chronic, Luke had to respond.

Essentially, Luke uses this song to call out Dre and Snoop for being gangsters, when in actuality, Dre had been part of the electro-soul group World Class Wreckin' Cru, where he would routinely wear makeup and shiny outfits.

The video does a pretty good job making fun of Dre's two signature videos of this time period -- "Dre Day" and "Nuthin' But a G Thang."

The lyrics are actually pretty good, but the beat is typical Miami gangster stuff.

[Clayvosie]
It's about time for me to tear the roof off the mother
I grab the gat to make you punks run for cover
You can fool a groupie, but you can't fool a gangsta
1985, you used to be a prankster
Down with Lonzo and the Wreckin' Cru
Turnin' off the lights and dressin' like women too
Everybody on Death Row must be a joke
I put a level to the chair and watch you punks smoke
Real gangstas don't follow punks down here
I guess your boy Snoopie Dogg must be a queer
So who the hell you gonna blast here in Miami?
Step to me and I'll kill your whol' family
And I do mean hoe', you think I'm playin', son?
I got my glock to your head, now where you gonna run?
Before you diss my homie Luke, you better think twice
I'll pull a trigger, punk, and turn off your life

Nasty Nas - "Halftime"

Some of you who were listening to rap music in 1994 remember when the Source gave a five mic review to Nas's Illmatic album. And this was back when "Five Mics" actually meant something at the Source. Unlike now...(Li'l Kim's "The Naked Truth"???? Are you kidding me???)

Anyway, Illmatic actually is a great album, even though it's only 10 tracks long and the first track is an intro. But one of the tracks on the album is from 1992, when Nasir Jones was known as "Nasty Nas." He had previously dropped a couple verses on posse cuts like Main Source's "Live at the BBQ" and MC Serch's "Back to the Grill." But this song is the one that got my attention.

It has a hot bassline, that awesome horn riff and that unusual wailing voice. The video isn't much, but the lyrics are great; tight but versatile. I love the flow on this song. The multi-syllabic rhyme scheme was still in its early stages and this song showcases it beautifully, damn-near making every word rhyme in multiple sentences. I was a little disappointed when I heard he was changing his name to just "Nas," especially since so many people out of the loop pronounced it "Nass." Of course those same people would have said "Nasty Nass" anyway so what do I care. This song was the first glimpse of what Nas would have to offer as a solo artist, and not just a mic-for-hire.

I got it going on, even flip 'em on this song
Every afternoon, I kick half the tune
And in the darkness, I'm heartless like when the narcs hit
Word to Marcus Garvey or heartless Sparkton
Cuz when I blast the herb, that's my word
I be slaying them fast, doing this, that and third
But chill, past the entree and let's lay
I bag bitches up at John Jay and hit a mantinee
Putting hits on 5-0
Cuz when it's my time to go, I wait for God wit the fo-fo
And biters can't come near
And yo, go to hell to the foul cop who shot Garcia
I won't plant seeds, don't need an extra mouth I can't feed
That's extra Phillie change, more cash for that weed
This goes out to Manhatten, the island of Staten
Brooklyn, Queens is living fat and
The Boogie Down, nuff props, enough clout
Ill Will, rest in peace, yo, I'm out